There and back again, again

I’ve had more adventure and fun this week already. I was admitted to the hospital for a GI work-up. I’ve been having some belly issues like cramping, bloating and nausea. It could be from all the meds I’ve been on. It could be irritation from radiation or just eating like crap. But there is also the possibility of recurrence of c.diff and scary things like GVHD. Of course I’m in denial about GVHD but I went along with their game. But keep in mind that I still suspected I just had Mono even after being admitted and examined by multiple highly trained hemotology and leukemia specialists. It’s not that I’m a positive person. I’m really not. I’m just always positive that I’m fine. Even when I’m not fine.

My doctors let me out in time last night to make it to Amira’s kindergarten musical. It’s like High School Musical except the girls wear big flowery dresses and sing about the three little pigs. It was thrilling to be there even though I was wearing a mask and hospital bracelets that I forgot to take off and I had track marks up my arm from the PCA in training. Seriously, why do they let them practice on the cancer patients at 5:00 am?

Here is my Madonna “Like a Virgin” glove. My 27 year old nurse did not get my reference.

likeavirginglove

When I was admitted I informed the staff that I wanted to make it out for Tuesday evening. I never make requests like that. I always just go along with hospital time. They furrowed their brow, looked doubtful but then did everything they could. I was admitted because my doctors have suspected possible GVHD of the gut for months and they wanted to rule it out. Outpatients have to wait weeks for endoscopy so I was admitted to get bumped in line. Unfortunately (this is one of those words I spell differently every single time), according to hospital code scheduled outpatient appointments bump inpatient requests so sometimes inpatients have to wait days for tests. But not me this time. My doctors said in all seriousness to the other departments that I had a kindergarten program to get to because my daughter had a speaking part. I got to cut in line for my procedures. A nurse and secretary in endo came in to tell the doctor before my procedure that there were outpatients ahead of me and he said, “No, She has somewhere important to be tonight so she goes first.” I’m so glad such a great doctor advocated for me. I also got to be home last night and this morning for Xander to bring me his favorite teddy bear and my sewing kit so that I can stitch up a hole in its back. He has way more confidence in my mom skills than I do.

So, while I was still waiting for my procedure to be scheduled my nurse came in to tell me the “good news and bad news”. Good news is I was getting in quickly for my colonoscopy. Bad news is that “WE have to do an enema.” I said, “We?”. I wasn’t sure if he would be joining me on the pot or what. But by we he meant he did the enema part and I did the pooping part. At least he was cute. And young. You all know there were MANY anal jokes including both kinds of dirty, if you know what I mean. I didn’t even get to see my main doctor yesterday because every time he came in I was on the pot. Cute boy nurse gave me a hospital gown to cover myself after he removed my leopard print lacie cheeky undies. I’m so sad that I left that pair in my linens at the hospital. I called and they said they would check the lost and found. Even more than I want those undies back I would love for someone to collect them in a ziplock and deliver them to the 11th floor. That would just be funny.

This is a bathroom paper towel dispenser reflection selfie taken to show my morning after smeared eyeliner and sad eyes.

hospital_reflection

I got visits from some of my favorite nurses including my beloved 10th floor lady who had to break the news to us back in June that I would be in the hospital for a long time. I love them all. There is a new kind of intimacy and affection for people who take care of you in your worst state for 12 hour shifts at a time. I feel like it’s friendship although I’m not sure they would join me for wings.

To share today here is a funny video that makes me happy my husband has no audio-visual skills.

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Posted on May 15, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Loved the joke. It cracked me up! So happy you were able to attend Amira’s performance.

  2. OF COURSE I would join you for wings 🙂

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