Let’s do this one more time
This was supposed to be published last night but I fell asleep.
I’m sleeping over at my home away from home, The OSU James Cancer Center. There is nothing new or crazy or serious to report. I’m just dealing with the same issues as before. I had a reoccurrence of C. diff which isn’t uncommon for people like me. The mild fever brought me in on Saturday but the doctor was able to score me a room on the 3rd floor without us having to go through the ER or admitting. We walked into the hospital and up to the 3rd floor. Actually, Jeffrey walked. I got a wheel chair because I was tired and sick and he has no patience for my slow walking. Here on the 3 rd floor I am greeted by the friendly and faithful nursing staff. My best buddy was not working this weekend but all the nurses are great. I got a chest x-ray, nose swab, blood taken from my central line and from my arm to test for blood infection and urine and fecal sample testing. These are all standard protocol when a BMT patient presents with a fever. I went over medications with the nurse. Somehow, even though I was just here on Thursday and my last hospital stay was just a couple weeks ago they lost half the meds off my list. The inpatient orders don’t carry over from the clinic. So they have to get the doctor to reorder all my pills. I think they could do better at this.
Saturday we had time to prepare before coming in. I called in the morning and I was told that I would get a call when a room was ready probably in the afternoon. Carolyn helped me pack a bag and Jeffrey talked to the kids about me going to the hospital. They had no reaction to the news. It was slightly disturbing how well they just go with the flow with bad news. I know it affects them deeply but they both sort of shrugged at the news and said okay. They both get clingy and want “mommy time” at home when I’m there. I think it’s because they fear any day they could come home from school and I won’t be there. It’s happened before. A couple times. They also know that at any time on the weekends their grandma might show up and Daddy will take Mommy to the hospital and I’ll be gone. It’s happened more than once. We all always know about this possibility. It is our new normal. I hate all the cancer colloquialisms (survivor, fighting cancer, lost the battle, etc) but this one works. We aren’t going to get back to normal. We have to create our new normal. But the exciting thing to me is that we are making it up as we go and we are starting a new life as a family. The transition means changing everything they’ve always known. I have no idea of how this will affect their adults selves. Amira already says she wants to be a Luekemia doctor. We’ll support her in this goal by starting Adderal at around 3rd grade. You know what I’m talking about, anyone who’s ever met her.
This illness should not affect my long term recovery as long as it is kept under control which means coming here every time I get sick. It might push back some of the milestone dates. I might not be able to get my central line removed by day 100 as I hoped. This may delay our party. I don’t want to celebrate until that line is out.
I should be out of here tomorrow (Monday) sometime. There are 5-6 inches of snow predicted. Jeff says that the Jeep can get through anything so he’ll get me home without a problem. I’ll back to my regular schedule of laying in bed until noon before I take on the important things of the day like eat. I love Hotel James but the food is awful.
“Is this my life or am I breathing underwater.”
Amira sent me to the hospital with her wolf dog to take care of me. I’m posting this and walking away before I regret putting a picture of myself with no makeup and hair and messy eyebrows online.