Sharing good news
We have had so much bad news that it’s unimaginable and I can’t handle listing it all in my head because it would likely take over and annihilate me. We met with a social worker as part of the routine pre-transplant work-up and she asked how we are doing emotionally. We laughed and said we practice a lot of avoidance and ignorance. If we don’t need to know it right now then we don’t ask and we don’t worry about it. I will do whatever it takes to get better and sometimes it’s best not to know what it will take.
We are celebrating every bit of good news that we receive. I heard from the James today that 1. My donor was medically cleared to undergo the procedure and give me bone marrow. 2. Preliminary examination shows no red flags on my heart and lung testing and I will likely get medical clearance for transplant and 3. my bone marrow and cerebral spinal fluid both tested negative for leukemia cells again at my most recent exam. I have been feeling cautiously optimistic about the transplant since I have started the education classes and physical work-up. I have short term and long term goals to look forward to and I know I have good chance. People have successful transplants and I can be one of them.
Short term goals for hospital stay (things I have to do everyday even if I don’t feel like it) :
1. Eat 3 times a day
2. Walk 30 minutes 3 times a day
3. Take a shower every day
Edited to add a 4th super important goal:
4. Watch season 2 premieres of BOTH Girls and Enlightened on HBO on 1.13.13. Super excited about this. Almost excited enough to forget and the crap I have to do.
That’s probably about all I can do in a day. I have been in the hospital and sick enough to know that those things will take all of my strength. They are within my control and something I can do to help myself.
Long term goals (things to look forward to):
1. Get home to be with my family
2. Central line can come out on day 75
3. Be able to take care of the kids in the summer
4. Go back to work in August (probably just part-time)
5. October wedding in San Diego
I don’t have control over how my body responds to the transplant. There will be radiation and chemo that could possibly do irreversible damage. I don’t know what will happen with those things. It will be what it will be and I choose not to worry about them.
I did have to go to the hospital the day after Christmas in the snow. We stayed at home and relaxed for all of the holiday because I haven’t been feeling great. I’ve had a mild sore throat and I’ve also had body aches. I haven’t had a fever so the 11th floor James has let me wait it out at home. Since my aches and pains have persisted we went in to get checked. Jeffrey drove me and the kids in the Jeep. He dropped me off and took the kids to the bookstore. They did blood work and a check-up. My blood counts are great. Almost normal even. WBC was 9, hemoglobin 9 and platelets 330. I’m even up a few pounds thanks to the holiday cookies that people like to bring me. Hemoglobin is low for a normal person but good for a leukemia person. They usually don’t transfuse until you get down to a 7. I still have a sore throat so I have to talk to the doctor Monday about going to see an ENT.
Little Big Girl exhausted after taking Mommy to the hospital.