The cancer mindfuck
I posted this quote on my Facebook wall while we were still in the phase of figuring out what was wrong with me but we had been told cancer of some kind. I still can’t read it without tears in my eyes. I have people telling me that I’m strong and that I can fight this and while I think that’s an encouraging thing to say I’m just struck by how much of my cancers have nothing to do with anything I’ve done. You can fight and fight hard but not make it and does that make you less of a survivor? Succeeding to me is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next thing.
“Cancer is not a battle that we win or lose. It is not our fault or a
sign of weakness. We are not responsible for our cancer outcomes. The
crapshoot of cancer and recurrence can NOT be controlled. Celebrate
yourself for each time you, despite all the trauma of cancer,
treatment, and the mindfuck of “survivorship”, choose to love, live,
lust, laugh… We are not a success story based on our cancer
progression or not. We succeed when we are courageous enough to keep
walking forward even with missing parts, severe pain, addled brains,
and broken hearts.” Dr. Erica D. Bernsteing
This is a cancer. Bracelet given to me by a friend. Each color represents a different type of cancer. luekemia is orange.